Jane
by spacelawyer
Summary: Harry Douglas, a young rookie engineer serving aboard the SSV Normandy, develops a crush on the ship's new captain, Commander Jane Shepard. Occurs during the events of the trilogy. OCxFemShep.
1. Chapter 1

"Niiice!"

I couldn't contain my excitement from the second I stepped into the awe-inspiring human-turian marvel of a ship, with a small bag in hand and an open mouth. Not only was I joining the crew of the SSV Normandy, I was doing it the day before my 21st birthday. Apparently, the engineering crew was understaffed, and they had no option but to bring in my rookie, freshly graduated ass at the last minute. I had to skip celebrating a wonderful, alcohol-related age milestone, but I never had many friends to celebrate with anyways. Maybe I'll make some new ones here...

Pilot Jeff "Joker" Moreau noticed me entering and grinned. "Okay, Harry, close that mouth of yours already. Unless you're planning on eating up the machinery."

"Hey Jeff!" I replied, grinning. He was a distant cousin, one of the few sane people I knew in my family. "Nah, I'll stick to edible food."

"Then you're in the wrong ship." He replied, with a half-joking, half-serious expression. "Won't find any of that here."

I smiled. "Good to see a familiar face."

"Same here, Harry. Welcome to the Normandy. Now get a grip and go to work already. We're departing soon. You missed the new captain's speech."

"Shit. Commander Shepard, right? I hope I get to meet her soon."

"Oh you'll definitely meet her. She has this obsessive urge to go around and talk to everyone around the ship. Every. Single. Day." Jeff remarked, with a laugh. "That woman cares a little too much sometimes..."

"Well, that's why she's the captain I guess."

"Yeah, yeah. Now go! Report to Adams down in engineering. You'll find the way."

"Yup. See you later Jeff."

I give him a high five and went on, down to the lowest level of the ship, the Engineering section. Within a few hours, I managed to irritate Lieutenant Adams quite a few times due to faulty calculations, involving simple arithmetic (hey, I said was a bit too excited!). Tali, an incredibly smart quarian undergoing her pilgrimage, helped me calm down and settle in (despite being quite nervous herself). Looks like I made a new friend already.

"Okay Douglas, you're done giving me headaches for today." Adams remarked, with a half-smile. "Go find the crew quarters and unpack your stuff. You have the morning shift tomorrow."

"Yes, Sir!" I picked up my small travel bag, said goodbye to Tali and the others, and made my way up the ship.

The moment I saw my bed, I let myself fall down on it, dumping my bag unceremoniously in the corner.

* * *

I opened my eyes and glanced at the clock. 3AM.

 _Huh?!_

Looks like I dozed off without a change of clothes, and without a single bite of food. Immediately confirming the theory was an angry grumble from my stomach.

Lazily, I stood up and looked at the small mirror opposite my bed. I saw my tired face, along with light stubble and some serious 'bed head', staring back at me. I sighed and decided to head up to the mess and grab something to eat.

 _No need to look presentable, it's 3 in the night. Oh, and a happy birthday to me I guess._

As the elevator doors opened, I zombie-walked to the kitchen, humming the birthday song to myself like an idiot. I saw a huge energy bar on the counter. It looked quite expensive, and the wall of text in the packaging kept using the word "biotic"

 _Eh,_ _that'll do._ I unwrapped it as quickly as possible.

"Hey, that's mine!" a female voice announced from behind. Startled, I fumbled with the packet and (thankfully) stopped myself from dropping it.

I look back, really slow. _I've heard that voice in the vids before… Please don't be her. PLEASE don't be her…._

It was her.

Whelp, talk about an awkward first meeting.

Staring back at me, with a mildly amused, yet mostly unreadable expression is Commander Jane Shepard. I had seen her before, in the vids. Red hair, green eyes. The kind of woman that would stand out in a crowd, even among aliens. She looked… cute.

I snapped out of that inappropriate train of thought about my commanding officer, and instantly realised that I've been staring at her, in silence, for far too long.

"I said that's mine, soldier." She said, expression still unreadable.

"So..s-sorry…ma'am…not…a…soldier.." is all I managed to get out before I saw a smile form on her lips. And a laugh.

 _The cutest little laugh..._

 _Wait, what? No… Stop messing around, brain!_

I regained my composure, and tried to smile. "I'm sorry ma'am, I didn't see you. Harry Douglas. I work in Engineering. It's… it's my first day."

I followed that up with the most embarrassing attempt at a 'salute' I've ever done in my lifetime.

That made her laugh, once again. _Looks like she's in a good mood._ "At ease, Douglas. Just wanted to stop you there before you took a bite out of my food." She said, with a warm smile.

I hesitantly approached her and handed over the bar. She playfully snatched it from me, still smiling. Jeff had assured me that she was really nice to everyone, but that didn't stop me from internally freaking out. She looked a bit _too_ relaxed.

"Why are you up right now? It's quite late, isn't it?" She asked with a straight face, biting into her apparently treasured energy bar, her green eyes not breaking eye contact from mine. _Damn, she's so…_

I spoke up before I could complete my thought. "I-I dozed off without sleeping, ma'am. I missed dinner. So, I was looking for something to eat."

"In that case, Dallas-"

"Douglas, ma'am. Harry Douglas." _Wait, is she… drunk?_

"Douglas." She kept smiling. "As I was saying – in that case, have this.." She broke off half of the enormous bar and handed it to me.

"Thank you ma'am. That's nice of you." I said, taking the broken piece from her hands.

"Just… stop."

I froze. What did she mean by that?

"I-I'm sorry?"

"Stop calling me 'ma'am' so many times, Dylan. I have a name!"

"I'm Douglas, ma- I mean…"

"Jane."

"Okay, J-jane.." _Okay. Definitely drunk._

We stood in silence, eating those enormous pieces of god-knows-what. She hadn't broken eye contact.

 _Is this… some weird fantasy? A dream? Am I sleeping in my bed right now? I'm too drowsy to know for sure._

My thoughts were broken by her confident, breathy voice. "So, Douglas. I heard you humming when you came in. Happy Birthday!"

"Thank you… Jane. It's my 21st." I didn't know what else to say. That was surprisingly observant, for a drunk person.

She smiled, then started walking towards what I assumed are her private quarters. _Thank God. That was getting increasingly awkward, every single second._

"It was nice to meet you, Jane." I said, slowly. "I… I should go."

"Wait!" She shouted at me as she went in. It was loud enough to possibly wake someone up.

I stood there, frozen, as she came out with two glasses filled with purple liquid. "We should celebrate. I was already… celebrating, anyways…"

I took a sigh of relief. For a moment, I was worried she'd invite me in. _As if she ever would._

A few sips later, I told her that I really needed to go to bed. She took the glass from my hand, smiled, and headed back into her room. That was my sign, to run towards the elevator….

As I stood in the elevator, which was surprisingly slow for a ship of this caliber, I wondered about the extremely odd encounter I just had. My head was filled with questions I didn't dare to ask her. _Why was she up so late, drinking alone? What was she "celebrating"? Will she even remember any of this tomorrow?_

 _Jane.. *sigh*_

I found myself smiling. Then I found my own hand slapping me in the cheek. _Commander Jane Shepard._ _NOT "Jane". Shut up, brain!_

Soon, I had fallen into the bed, into deep sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

I was walking down to Engineering the next morning, with a spring in my step. The Normandy. I still couldn't believe it.

Another thing I couldn't believe? Last night was apparently not a dream.

No matter how much I tried, I couldn't get her out of my mind, after our little encounter. Part of me was infatuated with her, there was no point denying that. But another part of me knew how inappropriate, and more importantly, unrealistic, this little 'crush' was. She was Commander freakin' Shepard. A war hero. The first human Spectre (Tali had informed me yesterday about that)... and my superior.

 _*sigh*_

This internal debate reminded me of those vids I used to love as a child, where a little angel and a little demon appeared on the hero's shoulder before every decision, trying to influence him.

I chuckled at the memories as I finally reached Engineering. As expected, Tali was already in there, working, along with someone I didn't know.

"Hi. I'm Harry." I introduced myself with a smile.

"Abhishek Pakti." He replied, shaking my hand. "I understand you're new here? Thank god they finally brought in more people." He said, looking at Tali and me. "I'm getting a feeling that we're gonna go through hell trying to catch Saren."

Tali nodded. I noticed her occasionally looking at me, and quickly turning away when I looked back.

We spent the next few hours maintaining various levels, fixing minor problems and thinking of potential improvements.

If what Jeff told me yesterday was true, I would probably be face to face with Jane once again, when she drops by for her daily rounds. She'll probably come by to meet Tali at least, since she's technically a guest. I was simultaneously happy and nervous about that. _Would she even remember last night?_

As if on cue, the door opened behind us and Commander Shepard walked in. She was in her N7 armor, probably heading out for a mission.

"Shepard!" Tali exclaimed, running up to the commander to have a chat. It was obvious that the shy quarian had really opened up to the Commander. She trusted her.

 _Who wouldn't? With that face, and that voice…._

 _SHUT UP, BRAIN!_

It didn't take long for the Commander to look behind Tali and notice me. I saw her confident demeanour instantly vanish, as her face turned white and eyes were wide open.

 _She definitely remembers…_

Tali noticed this, of course, so she instantly stopped talking and looked back at me. She had already been giving me weird looks since the morning, but now she looked downright suspicious.

I was barely paying attention to Tali though, as I was too busy observing Jane. She just stood there, staring at me. Just like last night, I couldn't read her face. The silence went on for an uncomfortable amount of time.

Abhishek nudged me in the back.

"C-Commander!" I blurted out, with another horrifying attempt at a salute (thankfully better than last night). She looked at me funny, and I could swear I saw the faintest of smiles.

 _Goofy salutes make her smile. Noted._

"Shepard, that's Harry…" Tali began.

Without listening to her, Jane composed herself and immediately started walking towards me.

"Let's talk outside." she whispered. Before I could respond she had already turned back and started walking towards the door. I had to break into a slight jog to catch up to her.

As soon as the door closed behind us, she immediately turned towards me, and tried to find something to say.

I spoke first. "Ma'am, about last night…"

"Did anything happen?" she asked, with a blank face.

 _Huh?_

"I don't follow…"

"I think you know exactly what I mean, Douglas." She stated, her voice getting increasingly worried.

I genuinely did not know what she meant. _Wait, is she talking about…_

"We just shared a… snack near the kitchen, ma'am. Then we drank… something… to celebrate my birthday. That's all that happened." I tried to sound as reassuring as possible. _Did she actually think we… Why would she?_

"Well, that's a relief." She looked at me with those green eyes and smiled once again, and my heart fluttered. "I am sorry though. I was incredibly unprofessional. For the record, I don't spend the nights drinking away in the crew deck. You caught me at a bad time. I was not in a good place..." For the first time, I saw her break eye contact and look down.

"No need to apologise ma'am." I smiled. "Actually, thanks, for sharing that drink with me. I.. didn't have any friends to celebrate with."

"No problem, Douglas. Happy Birthday." She tapped me on the shoulder and winked. I tried my best to not melt into the ground.

I saw her walking away towards the elevator.

"Commander?"

"Yes?"

"I know it's none of my business. But if you ever want to talk about anything.. if something's bothering you. Maybe I can help."

She didn't turn back to face me. "You're right, Douglas. It's none of your business. Get back to work."

"Y-yes, ma'am. I'm sor..."

The elevator doors had closed already.

 _Shit._


	3. Chapter 3

I just stood there for a few seconds, wondering what went wrong.

 _Nice job Harry. You just messed it all up. Everything was going right. She winked at you! You just_ _had __to ruin it by getting personal._

The cold, 'professional' voice she had suddenly switched to at the end kept ringing in my ears, as I dejectedly walked back to my designated console. I heard Tali and Abhishek whispering among themselves, but I didn't really care about anything at this point.

After almost 30 minutes of silence I heard Tali clear her throat.

"Did… anything happen between you and Shepard?" she asked, hesitantly.

"I'd rather not talk about it, Tali. I don't think the Commander would like it if I said anything…"

"Okay." she interrupted. "You're right. It's none of my business."

That phrase made me tense up. _None of your business._ Jane's voice echoed inside my head once again.

"Hmm.. I guess so." I replied, turning back towards my console.

"…it's just that…" Tali continued, "I was in the Med Bay last night. There was this problem with my suit that needed attention. As I was heading out.. I saw you and her, drinking…"

"Tali, it's not what it look-"

"Nononono!" she exclaimed, her awkwardness rising to adorable levels. "Don't tell me. I don't need to know the… details."

"I do." Abhishek interjected, with a smirk.

"And don't worry, I didn't see anything else. I went back in, and waited till I heard her doors close. And both of you were gone." She looked down nervously. "So.. yeah.."

 _Great. She thinks I went inside..._

"Sleeping with the ship's captain? On your first night here? You must have one hell of a pick-up line, Douglas." Abhishek joked, incredibly amused by the whole situation.

"Seriously, guys, nothing happ-"

The door hissed open, as Lieutenant Adams walked in.

"Douglas, Joker needs your help. There's some problem with the power supply to the controls. We're in the middle of a mission, so it's urgent."

"I'll get on it right away, sir!" I said, as I started running towards the door.

* * *

The "problem" was easily fixed by flipping a few switches. Joker seemed embarrassed.

"Well, _I_ could have done that." He said, smiling sheepishly. He paused for a second to check his readings. "Good, the controls have stabilised."

"JOKER!" the Commander's booming voice came through the speakers, and made the both of us jump. "Get the Normandy airborne and lock in on my signal! ASAP!"

 _What's happening out there?_

"Got it, Commander." Joker instantly responded, while simultaneously operating the flight controls.

We sat in silence as we heard heavy things falling down through the Commander's radio.

"JOKER!" she shouted once again. _Something's gone wrong…_

"On my way, Commander!"

"Jeff, is she in trouble?" I heard myself ask.

"Nah, she just wants to come back and kiss you real bad." Joker deadpanned. "Of course she's in trouble! Now shut up while I try not to land on a volcano."

"We're landing on a bloody volcano?! Which planet is this?" I internally cursed myself for not keeping up with the ship's activities.

"Trying _not_ to land on one. We're on Therum. And for the love of God, let me concentrate Harry!"

Therum. Oh yes, to find Dr. T'Soni. I remembered Tali telling me about her.

The next few minutes were intense, as I saw Joker expertly navigate the ship, and get everybody out just at the last second. I breathed a sigh of relief as I turned back to see the airlock open.

The krogan and the turian (I didn't know their names yet) walked in and immediately headed into the inside of the ship. Following them was the Commander, supporting Dr. T'Soni by the shoulders and limping into the bridge area. Even after such an intense mission, Jane seemed perfectly composed. _And insanely pretty…_

She looked back at us and smiled. "Nicely done, Joker. We're heading to the briefing room. Check if the Council is available." She looked at me and paused for a moment, looking conflicted.

That two second pause felt like two years, as those green eyes stared into mine. _She_ _really_ _doesn't like breaking eye contact…_

With a much softer voice she continued, "Harry, meet me in my quarters, after I'm done with this."

"Yes, Ma'am."

She walked away, still helping the Asari on her feet.

"Wait…" Joker spoke up. "Did she _actually_ want to come back and kiss you real bad?"

"Shut up, Jeff!" I chuckled. _I wish..._

"I don't know Harry. I'm hearing some crazy stuff about you. Everyone down at the Crew Quarters were talking about how you got drunk and slept with Shepard last night. I don't know how on earth did you do that, but that's not the point. Thing is, you might piss off Kaidan with…. um.. Harry? "

I was staring back at Jeff, wide eyed. I apparently looked mortified enough to stop him mid-sentence.

 _This is_ _ **bad**_ _. This_ _ **is**_ _bad._ _ **This**_ is bad. This is…

"Harry?!"

"It's bullshit Jeff!" I exclaimed. "I had a drink with her and then I went. back. to. my. bed." I punched Jeff's chair to emphasise each word, getting angrier after each punch. "Who's spreading lies about her? I swear to God I'll throw him out of the bloody airlock-"

"Hey, HEY! Calm down." Jeff grabbed my hand to stop me from punching the chair again.

My voice was shaking.

"She'll kill me when she hears, Jeff. She'll think I spread the rumours."

"She'll never know, Harry. No one is going to bring it up to her. I doubt anyone wants to intrude in her personal life."

I stood there in silence.

"…I'm going to go and wait outside her quarters." Before Joker could reply I had started walking away.

* * *

A million thoughts crowded my brain as I stood near the door, waiting for Jane.

 _Was it Tali? No, she's not that kind of person. I trust her._

 _Jeff said the rumour would "piss off Kaidan". What did he mean by-_

 _Why has she called me? Has she heard already?_

 _Is she… is she ever going to talk to me again?_

"Hey, Harry."

Seeing her face calmed me down.

"Hey, Commander."

She smiled at me as she opened the locked door. "Come in."

Her room looked simple and minimal. A table with two chairs, a comfy bed – all the essentials. I loved it.

She motioned me towards one of the chairs, and then went to sit on the edge of the bed.

 _She's going all out to be 'informal'. That's… nice._

She took a moment to contemplate something and then started to speak.

"Harry, I wanted to apologise, once again. You were so nice to offer to listen, and I…" she faced the floor, "… I brushed you off in the rudest way possible."

"You were right, ma'am. It _was_ none of my business. It's obviously something personal." I replied, slightly fidgeting on my chair.

She didn't reply, instead choosing to continue looking down at her feet. I couldn't even see her face.

 _Okay, Douglas. Say something funny. Lighten the mood._

"Ma'am, as much as I like looking at the top of your head... it's nothing compared to looking into your eyes. So, look up if you can, for my sake."

She looked up, and I couldn't believe what I saw. Commander Jane Shepard was blushing. Really hard.

"Trying to flirt with me, Douglas?" she asked, with a playful grin.

 _I could die right now._

"Uhh, I-"

"Nevermind." She smiled at me.

 _WHY DIDN'T I SAY "YES"?! WHAT DOES "UHH.." EVEN MEAN? "UHH…" ISN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING!_

"Anyways, I was saying… I'd like to take you up on your offer. I need to talk to someone. Keeping everything to myself isn't helping. And I don't want my squad to see me like this. I want them to focus on the mission, not me. So, are you intere-"

"Yes!" I blurted out immediately. "I mean… Yes ma'am."

"We're not talking professionally right now, Harry. No need for 'ma'am.'"

"Oh, okay." _Informal, then._ "Yes, Jane, I'd love to talk with you."

She laughed. "I haven't heard anyone calling me that since… many, many years."

"That's a shame. It's a lovely name."

She looked away, smiling. I saw her cheeks go red again.

 _Being this cute shouldn't be humanly possible._

"We'll be reaching the Citadel in a few hours. Shore leave." she said, looking back at me. "Meet me in the upper wards, about an hour after we dock."

"I will be waiting."

"Okay, Harry, that'll be all for now. I have mission reports to write." She got up from the bed and headed towards her desk, seemingly content with our talk.

As I left the room (with the biggest grin on my face), I noticed a bunch of the crew staring at me. They quickly looked away when I noticed

 _Shit. The rumour._

I really need to talk to her about that. Maybe I will, on the Citadel.


	4. Chapter 4

"To Harry. For making it into the Normandy!" a drunk Jeff exclaimed, raising his glass.

"… on his buurthday!" Tali slurred her words.

"…and for sleeping with the Commander!"

"…also on his buuurthday!"

I shot Jeff a death glare. "For the last time Jeff, we did not-"

"Yeah, no one believes you." Jeff interrupted, with a cheeky grin and wink.

I looked across at Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, who looked like someone had punched him in the face. The four of us had made it to _Flux_ , the newly-opened nightclub on the Citadel, to 'celebrate' my birthday.

Kaidan looked at me and awkwardly smiled, obviously looking for a way to change the topic. "So, Douglas, I'm guessing this is your first drink ever?"

"Yeah" I replied. "Actually, no. I had a few sips of this purple stuff last nigh-"

I stopped myself abruptly, before I could finish the sentence. But Tali completed it for me.

"…with Shepuuurd! I remember!"

"Oh, right before you guys slept together?" Jeff chimed in.

"….on his buuuurthday!"

"Jeff, I swear I'll kill you after this-"

"Joker," Kaidan jumped into the conversation, with a straight face. "I understand that you're just messing with Harry here, but Shepard won't like the fact that you're loudly talking about her sex life…. in a nightclub."

"Alright, alright." Joker chuckled. "I'll shut up. Not for Shepard's sake, but for your sake, Kaidan."

I decided to keep my mouth shut, and hoped that this particular discussion was over, for real this time.

We spent a long time randomly chatting about everything. Jeff went on and on about the new Blasto vid, and how horrible the entire franchise had gotten. Tali drunkenly confessed about her newfound obsession with the human race ("especially the males", which caused a bunch of young Alliance soldiers sitting near us to try and listen in). Kaidan told me about his troubled past. He definitely had to face a _lot_ of problems to get to where he was.

While I was certainly enjoying the company of my new (and extremely drunk) friends, I suddenly realised I had somewhere else to be. I got up a little too urgently, making Tali flinch.

"Jeff, thank you for this. And you too, Tali." I smiled at them. "And Kaidan, it was great talking to you, thank you for coming along. The Commander wanted to see me 10 minutes ago, so I really need… "

"Probably has some kind of surprise planned for you, Harry. Remember to use protection!"

"Jeff! Seriously, shut up!"

I left the group to their drunken, giggling selves as I exited the nightclub and made my way up the stairs to the upper wards.

* * *

I spotted Jane standing near the med clinic, looking out into the 'skyline'.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" she asked, as I stood beside her.

"Yeah." I wasn't looking at the view.

"I love this spot," she continued, "I don't know why. I could just stand here for hours."

We stood in silence for a few seconds.

"Sorry for being late, by the way." I said, sheepishly. "Jeff practically dragged me to Flux, along with Tali and Kaidan. To 'celebrate'. They're still there, drinking away."

She laughed. "I just arrived a few seconds before you, so both of us were late I guess."

"Busy with work?"

"Not really. Liara wanted to talk, over dinner." she muttered, still slightly distracted by the view.

"Oh."

"She, er, really didn't want me to leave." Jane chuckled lightly as she looked back at me, with a slight blush.

 _Great. Just, great. Apparently her whole squad fancies her. Who's next, the turian?_

"What's with the face?" she asked, and I realised I was making the same pained look that I had seen Kaidan make an hour back. _Funny how jealousy works._

"It's nothing. So… how did you get out of it?"

Jane realised that I dodged her question, but she continued. "Well, she was pretty direct in expressing her interest. I was… flattered, obviously. But she's not really my type, if you know what I mean." She looked away for a second. "I know the Asari don't really have a 'gender'… but… I see them as women."

I felt relief spread throughout my body. "Yeah, I guess most of the galaxy does."

"Hmm. So I just told her that. And she took it really well."

I got lost in thought, momentarily. _An old memory_...

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing. It's just.." I chuckled. "Something that happened 3 years ago."

"Well, you've got me interested. What happened?" Jane asked, seeming genuinely curious.

I hesitated. "It's a little awkward. Promise me not to laugh."

She gave a playful smile. "I can't promise anything, Harry."

"Okay, okay." I sighed. "There was this girl, back on Earth. She… let's not go into details. Basically, after meeting her and talking with her a few times in parties and such, I was in lo… I liked her, quite a lot. We clicked. On every level. We could talk for hours and hours and not get bored. I felt this connection to her that I never felt before. I was too shy to ask her out though."

"What was her name?" Jane asked, smiling, and not breaking eye contact as usual.

"Sarah." I replied, walking up to the ledge to look at the view. "So, for summer break, this rich mutual friend sponsored a trip to the Citadel for a bunch of us. I was excited to finally meet all the alien species I had read about and watched vids of. But more importantly, I thought it'd be the perfect opportunity to ask her out. Somewhere in the Citadel."

"So, what happened?"

"Well…. turns out she 'wasn't my type'."

"Oh! you mean.."

"She liked women, yeah." I sighed, trying to smile half-heartedly. "This is the part where everyone starts laughing."

"Why would I laugh at that Harry?" I could feel her eyes staring at the back of my head. "That must have felt horrible."

"It did. She felt horrible too, 'cause I had opened up my heart to her and she knew how I felt about her. To make matters worse, she met an Asari on the trip, and _they_ fell in love. And I was forced to watch their romance… blossom."

"Wow. I'm sorry, Harry."

"It's fine. We ended up being good friends instead. And we still keep in touch. But yeah, for a few months, it felt like hell. I could-"

"So that's why you made that face."

"Huh?"

I turned back from the ledge to see her standing quite close to me, her green eyes shining from the city lights behind me.

"That's why you made that face, when I told you about Liara. You didn't want another Asari to 'take away' someone you liked, once again." she stated, with a smile forming on her lips.

"Uhh.."

"I'm not your teenage crush, Harry. I can tell when a guy is interested in me. You haven't exactly been subtle."

I smiled, scratching the back of my head. "That obvious, huh?"

"Yeah."

"So, if you know… Are you… interested?"

She paused before responding, and I felt like I aged a full year before she spoke again.

"I can't say I'm not." Before I could react, she started again. "But I barely know you, Harry. We literally met last night. And I'm not looking for just a hook up, if that's what you want."

"Neither am I," I quickly clarified, "and I understand. I barely know you as well. But I'd absolutely _love_ to get to know you, Jane."

"That's… good to know." She smiled.

We stood in silence, staring at each other for a while. But unlike our first meeting back in the Normandy, this silence was not 'awkward'. This was a beautiful silence, a moment of tranquillity, where two people just looked at each other, content with what they saw and what they felt in that moment.

"Look," she broke the silence, "I know I said we'll be talking about me today, but I'm too tired, mentally and physically, to do anything else right now. Today was a busy day. Can we postpone? Maybe, tomorrow… in my quarters?"

"That sounds great, Jane." I smiled.

She stepped forward, even closer to me. We looked at each other, breathing heavily. She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

"Good night, Harry." she whispered in my ear, with a breathy voice that could melt a krogan's heart.

"Good night, Jane."


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up the next morning with a light headache and an empty stomach. The beds around me were empty; apparently I was late. I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror, rubbing my eyes.

 _Alcohol is overrated._

The buzz of my omnitool startled me for a second. A message from Jane. I opened it as fast as I could.

 _Report to the briefing room ASAP. Need your input on a mission. – Shepard._

I ran out of the quarters, towards the elevator. As the painfully slow machine took me to the upper floor, I wondered how a low level engineer with zero experience would be of any use for a "mission".

As the doors finally opened I quickly ran towards the briefing room and made my way in. My heart skipped a beat (as always) when I saw her. Jane was pacing back and forth at the end of the room, in full combat gear, staring down at her omnitool. She looked really conflicted about something. Most of her squad, also in their armor, were seated in a circle, facing her. Kaidan and Liara were missing.

"Commander." I blurted out, just as I saw her look up. _Probably not the right time for a goofy salute._

Jane gave me a nod, but didn't say anything, instead choosing to look away, towards her Gunnery Chief. "You don't like this, Williams?"

"I really don't, Ma'am. And I'm surprised you're even considering it. He's going to be a huge liability."

"We'll need him for this."

"Are you sure that's the only reason-" Ashley stopped mid-joke as she received a look from the Commander. Ashley probably wouldn't want to see that look ever again in her life, and frankly, neither would I.

"Harry will be… of great… help. I can… vouch for… his tech skills." Tali spoke up, sounding slightly disoriented. _Looks like someone's really hungover._

I was genuinely confused. "Um.. may I know what this is about?"

"Harry," Jane looked at me again, this time with a softer expression, "I was going through your personnel file…."

I remembered our conversation. _'I barely know you, Harry.'_

 _This is how she wants to know me? By reading my file? She can just.. talk to me instead, can't she?_

I chose not to verbalise my thoughts as she continued."… and I came across something. Your father, James Douglas…."

"Oh, great." I muttered under my breath, looking down.

Jane noticed my obvious discomfort and stepped forward to put a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry," she spoke softly, "not discussing personal matters here. I'm talking about something else. Is it true that he helped develop the Hannibal VI?"

I was taken aback for a second. "The one being used on Luna, for military training?"

She nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. He and a team of Alliance engineers developed it."

"And you were involved in it as well?"

"Yes, but in an unofficial capacity, since I was barely out of school. I assisted him right from the early stages of the project." I looked at her curiously. "Why is this relevant, ma'am?"

"The VI has gone rogue. It has attacked and killed multiple soldiers." She stopped for a moment to look at me, and continued. "It cannot be deactivated remotely, so we have been asked by Admiral Hackett to go down there and find a way to disable it. Since you are quite familiar with the VI, it might be a good idea for you to come along with us."

Dead silence filled the air for a few seconds.

"It went… rogue?" I stared at her blankly. "It killed people? Hannibal?"

My hands trembled as I felt my feet sink into the ground.

Jane held me by the shoulders. "Hey, hey… It's okay," she whispered, "we'll talk about this later, okay? I need you to pull yourself together for now."

I slowly nodded my head, still in shock. We spent a second too long staring at each other.

"Should we leave, Shepard?"

The turian's deep voice interrupted our moment. Jane pulled away from me and turned to face him. "No, Garrus. We need to plan, and our plan depends on whether Harry is coming along with us or not."

"You humans 'plan' too much. Just point me to the base and I'll take care of it… the old fashioned way." the krogan stated, in an annoyed tone.

Ashley nodded her head. "Wrex has a point. Can't we just blow up its core or something?"

"The Alliance doesn't want the facility to get destroyed, so a bomb is out of the question," Shepard explained. "And we can't just shoot at it, we'll have to gain access to its core functionality and then disable it. And that's where you come in Harry. Can you help?"

I took a deep breath. "I-I think I can. I remember a few loopholes in the code that I can exploit. But I can't… fight. I mean, I've been taught how to hold a gun and shoot at a target, but that's not going to be-"

"You have a pistol. You have me. I won't let you out of my sight, even for a second. You'll be fine, Harry, you have my word."

"Just saying "you have me" would have been enough, ma'am." I replied, with a smile.

"I know." She returned my grin with a bigger one, and I got lost in those green eyes for a few more seconds…

"We should leave, Shepard," Garrus repeated.

Jane snapped out of it once again, and walked back to the far end of the room trying her best to hide her blush. I sat on the empty chair beside Ashley, not reacting to the smirk on her face.

With the press of a few buttons, Jane conjured up a holographic map of what looked like the facility in question. "So," she began, "here's what we do…"

* * *

The Mako bounced along the surface of the Moon, dodging rockets and firing back at the turrets, as I held on for dear life. Feelings of regret began to creep up in the back of my mind. I pushed them away, along with the thoughts about Hannibal, and Dad...

 _There will be time to introspect later. When a VI isn't trying to blow you up._

I looked around at the rest of the squad. Ashley and Garrus were seated at the front, the former in charge of driving and the latter finally getting to test the "calibrations" he had been doing to the weaponry since days. Tali and Wrex sat in the middle row, quietly observing the chaos. Jane was seated in the back with me, eyes closed, deep in thought. She looked so… peaceful. Everyone did. This was 'normal' to them.

It only took a few minutes to blow up the turrets. An eerie silence followed as we made our way to the facility.

"Okay," Jane started as we finally got down from the vehicle, "Three bunkers. Two housing the safeguards, and one housing the core terminal."

"Yes, ma'am." I replied, with a nod. "After one safeguard is turned off, we _should_ have 10 seconds to disable the other one, and then 15 seconds to disable the main core. The VI might have changed the timings, of course, so we might have only a second or two to disable everything."

"But it'll never disable the… 'disable' option itself?" Ashley enquired.

"It won't. It can't. Thankfully, it's not an AI."

Jane walked ahead and turned around to face us. "Right. So, we need to split up and sync our actions from each bunker. Wrex and Tali, go into the first one. Garrus and Williams, find your way into the second one." She turned to look at me. "Harry and I will make our way up to the core terminal. We'll mostly be facing turrets and drones, and they can appear from any direction, so keep an eye on your shields. Now move!"

Each pair made their way to the respective bunkers. I looked up at the sky, at the beautiful view of _my_ planet. I couldn't soak it in though, as I had to jog to keep up with Jane, who seemed intent on getting this over with as quickly as possible. The exact second we left the Normandy, it's like she became a completely different person. A quiet, calculating soldier. It was fascinating, how she managed to keep the two different "sides" of herself separate from each other.

"Here we go."

We went inside the main door, and were immediately relived to see an empty room. The relief didn't last long however, as we heard the unmistakeable sound of multiple combat drones flying around somewhere near.

Jane pointed at the only other door in the room. "Looks like we're going into one hell of a firefight." She quickly motioned for me to get behind her, as she opened the door…

…into hell.

The next few minutes were something I would never want to experience again in my lifetime. The sound of gunfire went on for an eternity. My ears hurt from the continuous, deafening noise of metal hitting metal. Jane immediately pushed me into a safe corner behind some crates, and charged forward. She was a biotic, which was already a disadvantage when facing synthetic drones. This meant she had to almost purely depend on her close-range shotgun.

 _She might need cover._

I readied my pistol and slowly lifted my head above the crates to take a look. Jane was running around the room, dodging rockets and machine gun bullets and blowing up any drones that dared to come near her. In that moment, watching her absolutely obliterate the combat machines, I realised how much of an absolute badass Commander Shepard truly was. I was watching a legend doing her job.

She had the full attention of the VI, so I had all the time in the world to aim and shoot at anything that moved. In a few minutes we (well, _she_ ) had apparently cleared the room of hostiles. As the room turned silent, I gathered enough courage to get up from my spot. I blindly ran towards Jane, as fast as I could.

We were wearing helmets, but I could still sense the look of pure relief in her eyes as she saw me approaching her. "Are you hurt, Harry? Sorry for pushing you like that. I had to draw them away from y-"

"Not a scratch, Commander, don't worry." My eyes started to widen as I noticed her clutching her stomach.

She noticed my reaction and brushed it off. "I'm fine. Nothing that some medi-gel can't fix."

"If you say so, ma'am."

She nodded at me and talked into the radio, "Squad, report in."

Tali's accented voice responded. "We're clear, Shepard. Ready to disable the safeguard."

"Ditto", Ashley chimed in.

"Then let's do it. Harry, what now?"

 _Okay, time to shine._

"Just a second, Commander." I ran towards the huge terminal in the end of the room and opened up the command console. "Let me just…. Okay…. Hmm.. I'm ready."

"Okay." Jane turned on her radio, "Everyone, be ready. We're doing this quickly. In 3…. 2… 1…"

"Safeguard 1 down!"

"Safeguard 2 down!"

I typed in the command and noticed the prompt on the screen. "30 seconds to shutdown. We did it!"

 _Huh. That was simple._

I turned back to face Jane with a smile. "Ma'am, I have to say, I really enjoyed watching you fight. How do you-".

I stopped talking when I noticed Jane's eyes widen, staring at something behind me.

"GET DOW-"

An explosion threw the both of us into opposite directions. Every inch of my body was in pain. I couldn't tell whether I was screaming or not, since I couldn't hear anything except for a constant, ringing noise.

As I regained my senses, I tried to sit up. Pain shot up through my legs and immediately stopped me from moving. I turned my head to see Jane lying on the floor. Thankfully, there was no blood around her, and I could see her moving. Our attacker, a rocket drone, was slowly making its way towards her.

"JANE!" She couldn't hear. Or maybe I couldn't shout. She was lying face down on the floor, unaware of the machine approaching her.

I picked up my pistol and tried to fire at it. There was a loud bang, enough to draw the drone's attention, but it was obvious that I had missed. I fired 5 more shots, missing every single one, till the weapon overheated.

The drone started to make a loud noise, preparing to fire another rocket at me.

I threw my pistol, hitting the drone just as it fired, causing it to lose aim. _Lucky_ , I thought to myself as I heard a huge explosion behind me. However, throwing my gun away meant that I was completely defenseless, as the drone prepared for round two.

 _Throw something at it! Anything!_

I pressed the button near my neck to release my helmet, as it opened up with a hiss. Moments before the third rocket was fired, I mustered enough energy to send the heavy thing flying towards the killing machine. The drone fired the rocket…

Time ran in slow motion as I saw the rocket hit the flying helmet, causing a huge explosion. The drone disintegrated mid-air, sending bits and pieces flying everywhere.

The last thing I saw before I blacked out were those green eyes, looking at me from across the room...

* * *

 _ **A/N: Just wanted to take a second and thank the readers, the followers and the reviewers for their support! Please leave a review if you like this story. It really makes my day, knowing that someone had a good time reading my work.**_


	6. Chapter 6

I opened my eyes, and closed them back just as quickly. The white light was blinding, and my body was still in a world of hurt.

 _Heaven shouldn't be this painful._

"You awake, Harry?" a familiar voice called out. I carefully opened my eyes and looked to the side. Jeff was staring back at me, looking more concerned than I've ever seen him be. I was at the med bay, back in the Normandy. Dr. Chakwas, seated in front of her terminal, looked up at me when she saw me move.

"Hey, Jeff. I'm… alive?"

"Unfortunately you are." he replied, with a grin.

I tried to laugh, but everything hurt too much.

"How long have I been…? Where's Jane? Is she okay? What about the oth-"

"Calm down, Harry. You've been out for almost five hours. Everyone got out okay… well, except you, of course. Karin fixed you up pretty good though."

The Doctor approached me on the other side of the bed and, scanned my legs using her omni-tool.

"You'll have trouble walking for the next for the next few days, Douglas, but you'll be fine otherwise," she spoke, with a pleasant voice. "You were lucky, it's just external wounds, and a minor concussion. No broken bones or anything. Your armor took the brunt of the damage from the rocket. It saved you."

"In more ways than one," Jeff added. "You might owe the Alliance a new helmet."

"Your actions were quite heroic, if I might say so," Dr. Chakwas spoke, still smiling. "That was really brave, for someone who isn't even a soldier. You saved the Commander's life by risking your own. She'll be very grateful."

"Yeah, I'm sure she'll find a way to… 'reward' you for that, Harry. If you know what I mean."

"Jeff!" I groaned. "Come o-"

"Don't even bother," Jeff interrupted me, with his trademark cheeky grin. "She carried you all the way here, in her arms. Didn't let anyone else touch you. It was real romantic. I'm telling you, some of the crew were crying…"

"Hey, save the teasing for when I'm not half-dead in a hospital bed!"

"Half-dead, sure," he deadpanned. "And yeah, there might not have been any crying involved. But she did carry you here." He stopped smiling for a moment. "Maybe you should talk to her. She looked pretty shaken. I haven't seen the Commander like that… ever."

I stayed silent, not knowing what to say.

"Anyways, that reminds me, I should let her know that you're up. Also, the ship needs its pilot." He moved towards the door. "Good to see you're fine, Harry."

I smiled and nodded my head, as he walked out, the door closing behind him.

"Now, Douglas…"

"You can call me Harry, Doctor." I turned to look towards her, with a smile. "And thanks a lot for taking care of me."

"Just doing my job, Harry." She returned my smile and started to walk back towards her terminal. "You're free to go, unless you want to rest some more. Just drop by every morning for the next few days so that I can keep an eye on the wounds. And try not to put any stress on your legs. No running, no dancing, no heavy lifting."

"Yes ma'am." I had already gotten up from bed the moment I heard 'free to go'. I opened the door, and walked out, carefully. Before I could decide where to go, my omni-tool buzzed.

 _Your girlfriend's in the briefing room. Might want to surprise her. ;) -_ _ **J**_

I made a mental note of punching Jeff in the face as I walked towards the elevator.

* * *

I entered the briefing room and saw Jane facing away from me, talking to Admiral Hackett on the comm. Cursing myself for not knocking, I tried to quietly turn back and leave, but the booming voice of the Admiral's hologram stopped me.

"Douglas! We were just talking about you."

"Sir!" I gave him a salute, and he reacted to it with a nod.

Jane turned to look at me for a second, before quickly returning her attention to the Admiral. As usual, I couldn't read her face.

"At ease," the Admiral declared, looking at me. "Good job disabling the VI. And it's good seeing you, all grown up. Your father would have been prou-"

"Good to see you too, sir," I interrupted, with a straight face.

The Admiral smiled at me and turned towards Jane. "That's all for now, Commander."

As Hackett's hologram faded out with a buzzing sound, my body was immediately pulled into a really tight embrace. I put my arms around Jane, returning the hug. We stood there wordlessly, neither of us wanting to let go. After what seemed like ages, she pulled back a little to look at me. Jeff was right, she looked… shaken.

"I'm sorry, Harry, I promised I'll keep you safe. You could have died out there…."

"But I didn't, Jane." I smiled, looking into her eyes. "You _did_ keep me safe."

She looked down at her feet. "I… can't even explain it; the way I felt when I saw that drone approach you. I've seen a lot of death, Harry. I've watched soldiers serving under me get gunned down and blown up. I've felt guilt, anger…. sadness. But nothing like what I felt back there, on Luna. I don't know how I would have handled myself if…" She tightened her grip on my arms, making me wince. "Why did you risk your life like that? Why?"

I pulled her even closer to me, which made her loosen her grip. "You're far too valuable."

"…to the Alliance?" _Seriously, Jane?_

"Well… yes, of course. But I meant…"

A smile escaped her lips. "I know."

We stared at each other, as our bodies got as close to each other as they could. She was breathing heavily as she looked at me with longing. I wanted to kiss those lips, right then and right there, till eternity….

"Keelah!"

Both of us turned around to see a visibly embarrassed Tali standing near the door, trying to look away. Behind her, Liara looked shocked.

Jane quickly pulled away from me and turned to face them, blushing really hard. "Ah, yes… Everyone's here?"

Liara spoke slowly. "Lieutenant Alenko is on the way. Of course, we can come back later, Commander…"

"No… We need to talk about Noveria. We'll be docking there any minute now." Jane shot me an apologetic glance as she opened up her omni-tool.

I got the hint. "I should go."

Jane smiled at me. "We'll talk later."

"Yes, ma'am."


	7. Chapter 7

I spent the rest of the evening working my shift at Engineering. Tali was out investigating Noveria with Jane, which left me and Abhishek to handle everything.

"..so then you throw your freakin' helmet at the thing?!" Abhishek continued his line of questioning.

I chuckled lightly. "Well, I had nothing else. I ended up being _really_ lucky with the timing. Slightly early, and the drone would have dodged it and shot its rocket at me. Slightly late, and the rocket would have hit me."

Abhishek shook his head, expressing shock. "You got to play hero, man. How did it feel?"

"Terrifying. I'd rather stay down here, and let the actual soldiers handle the fighting, thank you very much. I'm surprised I wasn't pissing my pants throughout that mission."

I was being honest. Merely thinking about that moment, with the rocket drone and Jane, gave me chills. _What if it had gone wrong?_

Abhishek smirked. "Yeah, but you got to do something you'll never forget for the rest of your life. Maybe nothing else will ever top that moment. Maybe… your life has peaked?"

The fresh memory of my almost-kiss with Jane flashed through my eyes…

"Nah." I shook my head, grinning. "It definitely hasn't."

* * *

" _GET DOW-"_

 _An explosion threw the both of us into opposite directions. Every inch of my body was in pain. I opened my eyes, and turned my head to see a rocket drone slowly approaching her._

" _JANE!"_

 _She couldn't hear. Or maybe I couldn't shout. The drone fired, and time slowed down as I saw the rocket hit her._

 _A huge explosion. Blood… everywhere. A blinding white light. Green eyes…._

I jumped out of bed, violently.

"Wha-"

 _Okay. Just a dream. Just a…_

I tried to slow down my breathing, and immediately winced as I felt a sharp pain in my right leg. Blood was trickling down to my feet. Apparently, my rapid dismount from the bed had caused a wound to re-open. I checked the time. 3 AM.

 _Shit._

I rolled up the leg of my trousers and cringed when I saw a bloody mess just below my knee. Using a piece of cloth, I kept the wound tightly wrapped, and started to limp towards the elevator.

The journey to the med bay was long and torturous. Despite my best attempts to stop the bleeding, I was leaving behind drops of blood on the floor, with every step. When I finally entered through the door, I was taken aback for a second when I realised that it wasn't empty.

A teary-eyed Liara was seated in one of the beds, silently sobbing. Dr Chakwas seemed to be busy scanning the asari's hand with her omnitool, while Tali and Kaidan stood nearby, having a quiet conversation. Behind them, seated on another bed, was a woman, mostly obstructed from my view. I didn't have to be a detective to figure out who she was.

As soon as the med-bay doors had opened, all five of them turned around. Jane got up from her bed to get a better look at me. She looked exhausted.

"Harry, what are you…" Her eyes widened as she saw my leg. "Doctor!"

Dr. Chakwas looked down at my leg and her expression soured. "How did this happen, Douglas? I told you, no pressure on the legs!"

"I had a…" I stopped myself. "I fell down. From the bed." _Well, partly true._

She motioned me towards a bed. Before I could move a step, Jane had grabbed me by the shoulders. She guided me towards the bed, slightly limping. Carefully, I laid myself down.

"Commander," Dr. Chakwas spoke in a slightly annoyed tone, " _you're_ the one who just came back from a life-threatening mission. Harry will be alright, he just needs some medigel. Please go back to your own bed and _sit down_ , so that I can examine you."

"I'm fine, Doctor," Jane stated defiantly, as she sat down near my legs. "Just finish up with Liara, I can apply the medigel." She removed the piece of cloth around the wound and opened up her omni-tool. She looked determined to fix up my wound, apparently trying to distract herself, avoiding eye contact with anyone. I looked around at Tali and Kaidan, who were busy consoling Liara in hushed tones. _What happened down there?_

It took a few minutes for the medigel to close up the wounds. By that time, Tali and Kaidan had excused themselves from the med-bay. The doctor finally finished treating Liara's minor wounds, and the asari immediately stood up.

"I should be heading to bed, Commander..."

"Liara…. I'm sorry for what happened. Are you alright?" Jane spoke, looking at her with concern.

"I'll be fine. I just… need to lie down and sleep for now."

"Go ahead. I'll drop by for a talk tomorrow, okay?"

"I'd really like that, Commander."

Liara gave us all a nod as she slowly walked out through the door. The white-haired doctor immediately turned towards Jane, who put up her hands.

"I'm fine, doctor. Sprained my ankle a bit, nothing else."

"Okay, Commander," Chakwas replied, with a slight nod. "The painkillers I gave you will be enough then, I guess." She approached my bed, and examined my recently closed wound. "Looks okay to me. The medigel has done its job. You'll still feel mild pain in that area, for a while, but that's normal. I'd advise not getting out of this bed, at least for this night. Don't hesitate to wake me up if any problem comes up."

Jane spoke up before I could respond. "Sorry for calling you at this odd time, Doctor. We thought Liara's injuries were much more serious…"

"Not a problem, Commander. It's my job." She smiled, and turned to leave.

As the doctor left the med bay, I turned to look at Jane, who was staring at me intently.

"Jane… What exactly happened?"

I got to hear a long, detailed account of a nightmarish mission, which started with trying to obtain a garage pass and ended with fighting swarms of supposedly extinct insect-monsters, asari commandos and… Liara's mother.

I was speechless at the end, unable to find anything to say.

Jane saw my reaction and gave me a weak smile. "Now you know why we were so silent."

"Liara… She must be feeling horrible. Losing her only parent like that.."

"Yeah, she's trying her best to look strong, but I don't think she's okay. I lost my parents when I was 16, it took me _years_ to become… normal, again."

I silently nodded. _Mindior._ Where Jane lost her family… and everything else. She had a tragic past. I wanted to talk to her about it, but I was too afraid of making her relive those memories. I kept my mouth shut.

Jane sighed. "She's young, just like I was." She looked at me hesitantly. "Just like _you_ are. Your father... How did you deal with him passing away?"

I looked away, absent-mindedly shuffling my arms. "It was… different, in my case. I hated him, Jane. I hated his guts. After all he had done to Mom, to me, I don't think I had the tiniest interest in him living or dying."

Jane stayed silent. She had read my personnel file. She knew about the famous scientist, Dr. James Douglas. She probably knew about the extremely public scandal. Anyone who saw the news knew. Multiple affairs. Multiple families. Multiple kids. Mom's tear-filled face flashed through my eyes…

"Sorry." Jane's breathy voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "I shouldn't have mentioned him…"

"It's okay." I smiled at her.

She smiled back and got up from the bed, presumably to leave…

"Scoot over."

"I'm sorry?"

"Come on. Scoot over. I need to lie down."

I continued staring at her in surprise as I shifted towards the left side of the small bed. Jane laid down beside me, resting her head on the pillow and facing the ceiling. She closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. Up close, she looked… amazing. I couldn't take my eyes off her, even if I tried to.

She noticed me staring at her and gave a playful smile. "Oh, no… don't get any ideas, Harry. You haven't even taken me out for a nice dinner yet." She winked at me.

I looked away for a second, slightly embarrassed. "I… I wasn't…"

"Sure," she deadpanned. "Harry… can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, of course."

"You were having a nightmare, weren't you?"

 _How did she..?_

"….yeah. But how do you know that?"

"You were sweating. And shaky. Also, you came into the med bay with a bleeding leg. Normal sleep doesn't do that to people."

I nodded my head. "I.. jumped out of bed. A little too hard. It was the Luna mission. I saw the drone approach you. And this time, it fired at you. And then… well, my dreams have never been that violent..."

I felt embarrassed as soon I stopped talking. _She's a freakin' Spectre. She has seen and experienced the worst of the galaxy. Good job, whining about your mildly annoying dream to her, you idiot._

She bit her lip lightly, as she kept looking at me. "I'm worried about you, Harry."

"I'll be alright, Jane. But I'm worried about _you_. You're throwing yourself at these intense missions. More than one in a day! Isn't this.. dangerous?"

She sighed and looked away. "It is. I'm over-exerting myself, I'm aware of that. But I can't stop myself. You wanna know how I really found out about you having a nightmare? I have been having a lot of them myself…"

I was taken aback. "You're having nightmares? Since when? How often?"

"More than I would like to admit. It's getting worse. It's gotten to the point where I'm actively avoiding sleep. And burying myself in work. Remember when I told you I wanted to talk about something? This is it."

I held her hand, and turned around to lay on my side, so that my whole body was facing her. "I'm here, Jane. I'm listening."

She smiled. "That's great to know, Harry. But I'm not really in the mood for a long, emotionally draining conversation right now."

"Yeah, you should really get some sleep. You look tired."

"I will, in a minute. How's your leg now?"

"It's great. Still hurts a bit, but, Dr. Chakwas said that's normal, right? How's your ankle?"

"I'm fine, don't worry about me. Now give me your other hand, I want to show you something…"

She closed her eyes for a second, as she held both of my hands with both of hers. Gradually, I felt an unexpected warmness spread throughout my body. It felt like every relaxing thing I've ever felt, combined. I closed my own eyes involuntarily, letting myself fall into the warmth.

"What is..."

"Something only a biotic can do." Jane whispered. "Feels good, doesn't it?"

I opened my eyes to look at her. "Feels... amazing." Both of us were surrounded in a blue glow. Not only did I not feel the pain from the wound anymore, I forgot what pain even felt like, momentarily.

Jane bit her lip as she stared into my eyes. "One last thing, before I let go." She brought in her face incredibly close to mine. "I believe we were interrupted last time…"

I got the hint, and I pulled her in for a kiss. There we were, lying in a small bed, fingers interlocked, lips locked in a passionate embrace. It was the perfect moment.

Unfortunately, even perfect moments come to an end. Soon, the cold air of the Normandy hit me once again, as we broke contact, and she started to get up from the bed. I could hear her breathing heavily. Whatever she did, it probably took some effort to maintain.

I watched her silently as she stood up and started walking away. The door opened and she stepped outside.

"Hey.. Jane.."

She turned back.

"Next time we go to the Citadel, maybe we can go out…. for a nice dinner."

The door closed on her beautiful, smiling face.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N**_ _: - 50+ follows! This is a huge deal for me. Thank you!_

* * *

Despite promising to "slow down", Jane did not show any signs of doing so. The next week was filled to the brim with missions, sometimes as much as three in a single day. The Normandy kept moving from system to system, stopping occasionally only to re-fuel. Jane ensured that none of her squadmates joined her in two consecutive missions, which is probably why I heard no grumbling from Tali or anyone else.

 _Or maybe her squadmates were tough enough to handle it, unlike Mr 'pisses-his-pants-after-one-mission' right here._

I chuckled at my own thoughts as I stood outside the Commander's private quarters, waiting for the door to open. A few minutes ago, she had texted me to meet her for "game night".

' _Game Night.' Was that a euphemism? Probably not …_

Since that amazing moment we shared in the med-bay, things hadn't moved forward between the both of us. Apart from the occasional run-ins in the elevator (which, thankfully, was still slow as hell), I barely got to see her. I really didn't want to ask her to delay stopping Saren just to make out with me, so I preferred staying quiet and focusing on my work instead.

As the door finally opened, I was surprised to notice Jeff, Kaidan and Ashley in the room, animatedly talking with each other. For some reason, I had assumed we'd be alone.

Jane's table had been brought to the centre of the room, and everyone was seated around it, beer bottles in hand. The Commander was carefully setting up a holographic board game.

 _So.. 'Game Night'. Definitely not a euphemism._

"Hey, Harry!" Jeff exclaimed. "Have a drink, and a seat. We're celebrating tonight."

 _Ah, celebrating liberating a colony from being mind-controlled by a giant plant, I guess._ The Feros mission had apparently taken a huge toll on the squad.

I nodded at Jeff and quickly reached for the empty chair beside Jane, who gave me a quick smile and returned her attention to the board. Kaidan handed me a bottle from the opposite end of the table, grinning.

"Harry, ever played 'Ship Attack'?"

"Nah, but I've seen other people play it. It's basically a 6-way space chess match, right?"

"Not exactly, but that's mostly true." Kaidan replied.

Jeff sighed. "Of course you'd compare it to space chess." After noticing Ashley and Kaidan's confused looks he clarified, "His mom was a Grandmaster."

Jane looked up from the board, smiling. " _Is_ a Grandmaster, Joker. The title's held for life."

Ashley spoke up, remembering something. "Wait, I've heard of her! Rachel Douglas, right? Sarah, had once told me about her, back when she was obsessed with space chess for some reason. The first human Grandmaster! You're really from a family of over achievers, huh?"

I grinned and scratched the back of my head. "Yeah. Haven't been able to do much in life myself, compared to them." I tried to change the topic. "So, Sarah's your sister, right?"

"Yeah. Youngest." Ashley replied, with a smile.

Kaidan turned to look at Ashley with a mischievous grin. "Wait, Sarah…. Isn't she the one who has a crush on me?"

Ashley's face turned red. "For the last time, Kaidan, she just thinks you're cute! It's not the same thing as having a crush. _Everyone_ thinks you're cute. I mean…"

It was too late. Ashley put a hand over her mouth, and Jeff burst out laughing. Before Kaidan could react, Jane interrupted the awkwardness.

"Okay, we're set up."

* * *

The next hour was spent on a very intense game, full of team-ups and betrayals, logic and emotion, anger and celebration. It was the most fun I had had since ages. It was quite obvious that everyone on the table felt the same way.

Jeff was the first to lose, playing too aggressively without any strategy. Ashley and Kaidan doomed themselves by focusing their fleets completely on each other, leaving themselves wide open for me and Jane to team up and destroy them. Jane was on fire, causing slow but consistent damage to everyone due to some ridiculously good tactical moves. I was terrified of having to go one-on-one with her, but that's what it all came down to.

Jane looked at me with a wide grin and winked. "Get ready, Douglas. You're going down. Those little space chess tricks you learned from your mother won't help."

She looked… happier than I'd ever seen her. Seeing her having the time of her life, giggling and trash-talking, made me feel warm inside. She _deserved_ to have more moments like this. Right there, I decided to make it my mission, to ensure that she does.

"Commander," I replied, narrowing my eyes and smiling playfully. "It's one-on-one now. It's _exactly_ like space chess. And that means _you_ are the one who's going down."

Jeff nodded his head, holding his empty beer bottle, "Then it's decided. One of you is 'going down' on the other, once this is over…"

"JEFF!" I turned around, in shock. "That's….. _REALLY_ inappropriate…"

Behind the sound of Ashley and Kaidan laughing their heads off, I heard a crash, and immediately looked back at the board. The majority of my remaining fleet had been cleverly destroyed by Jane, in a move that I could not have seen coming in a thousand years. With just a few ships left, winning was basically impossible.

"Alright, alright!" I put my hands up. "You win."

Jane smiled back, finished her beer, and with a swipe of her hand, turned off the hologram. She looked back up at me. "Well played, Harry. A little more practice, and you can be incredibly good at this. Your strategies are really unique."

"Yeah," Jeff spoke up, "you guys should definitely… 'practice'… together."

The violent shove that Jeff received from me wasn't as playful as he might have hoped.

Kaidan raised an eyebrow, grinning. "Joker, you do realise that the Commander is sitting right here, right? Do you _want_ her to knock you out?"

"I'm not going to injure the ship's only pilot, Kaidan." Jane replied, sounding amused. "As much as I'd like to."

"He's just… really drunk." I replied, still glancing at Jeff.

"All of us are." Jane replied. "Let's try and get some shut-eye. We have Virmire to look forward to, tomorrow morning."

Everyone started getting up from their seats. Jane noticed the worried look on my face but didn't say anything.

One by one, everyone said their goodbyes and headed for the door. I shuffled my feet, pretending that I had dropped something, trying to stay back till the end. Finally, we had the room to ourselves.

"Hey," Jane whispered as she came near me. "I know what's bothering you."

"You do?"

"Yeah. You think I'm working too hard."

"Well… yeah."

Jane leaned in and gave me a kiss. "I'm aware of that. It's just that, I don't have a choice. Every one of those missions was important, and I couldn't even imagine… slowing down and risking lives." She looked down at her feet. "I know the crew's tired. I was planning for an extended shore leave once Feros was done, but I wasn't expecting Virmire to happen. I promise you, the first thing we're doing once we're done tomorrow, is heading to the Citadel. I haven't forgotten your offer."

"Neither have I." I gently caressed her face, and we shared another passionate kiss. We continued holding on to each other. "What about the nightmares? Still having trouble sleeping?"

"Haven't had a bad dream since that night in the med bay," she replied, with a playful smile. "Maybe you're really good for me, Douglas."

"I know I am, Commander." I winked at her, and she giggled, making my heart flutter. "You need to sleep now. Busy day tomorrow."

"Hmm..." Jane sighed, and walked away from me, still smiling. "Good night, Harry."

"Good night, Jane."

* * *

"DOUGLAS!"

"Sir, it's stable now. We're fine."

"It's a bloody nuke! We're not 'fine' till this thing is out of the Normandy. Handle it carefully."

Lt. Adams and I stood nervously, guarding a makeshift bomb made from the drive core of a Salarian ship. In a few moments, we would be landing in middle of Saren's facility to arm the bomb, and fly out of there before it explodes. Our mission at Virmire had gone in a direction I was not expecting it to go.

After a few minutes of silence, we heard Jane's steady voice over the comms. "Okay, we're clear."

After a loud thud, the back of the ship opened up, and we were treated to the sight of a pristine looking facility. The water-filled area we landed on apparently housed the geothermal taps, which powered the entire base. A 'weak point', according to the Salarians.

Ashley ran into the ship and joined us. She immediately grabbed one of the sides of the device, and looked at me.

"Go ahead, Douglas," Lt. Adams ordered. "You'll be safe."

I lifted up the other side of the bomb, and we slowly headed down the ramp, passing by Tali, who was limping back up into the ship, looking seriously injured. Jane and Garrus were standing outside, gesturing at us to place the bomb at a particular spot.

Apparently, things weren't going as planned. Kaidan and one of the Salarian teams were getting ambushed, and Jane was considering taking Garrus and Wrex with her to the AA towers to save them.

"It's okay, Commander," Ashley spoke, with urgency. "Douglas can arm the nuke, and we can cover for him if any trouble comes up."

Jane nodded. "Harry, arm the nuke ASAP. Garrus, Wrex, let's go!"

As the large door closed behind them, the Normandy lifted off to pick up the other teams. I returned my attention on the bomb, typing away at the console. My hands were shaking, and my heart was beating as fast as it did back on Luna.

"How much longer, Douglas?" Ashley enquired.

The tiny display turned red, and a prompt for starting the timer came up on the screen. "It's ready for activation!"

The roaring sound of a Geth ship landing interrupted our momentary relief.

"SHIT! HARRY, GET TO COVER!"

Before I could even understand what was happening, we were being swarmed by Geth. Ashley and Liara were trying their best to fight them off, but we were clearly outnumbered.

I hid behind the pillar next to the bomb, covering my ears to stop them from hurting. The sound of rockets and gunfire kept getting louder and louder every second, as the synthetic troops closed down on us.

"They're here already! We're getting swarmed." Ashley screamed, presumably over the radio. I didn't have an earpiece. Neither did I have armor. Or a gun. I started to wonder if I'd ever get to see Jane's face again.

Ashley gestured at me to go towards the bomb. I blindly ran towards the device, just barely dodging a rocket.

"ACTIVATE IT!"

"Wha-"

"SHUT UP, AND ACTIVATE THE BOMB RIGHT NOW, DOUGLAS!"


	9. Chapter 9

I had no intention of being charged with insubordination, but then again… I didn't want to die.

 _*sigh*_

With a shaky hand I pressed the button prompt on the screen, which immediately started a timer. _8 minutes._

I gave Ashley a thumbs-up as I ran back to the pillar. Ashley raised her hand to her ear, activating her comm channel.

"It's done, Commander!" She was screaming through the gunfire. "Now go get the Lieutenant and get the hell out of here!"

My heart was sinking deeper and deeper into my chest. I knew the risks, when I signed up to join the Alliance. But this… this was not how I wanted it to end.

"Douglas, pick up a gun and fight back! There's no point in hiding now!"

Liara heard Ashley's order and used her biotics to throw a Geth Pulse Rifle towards me. I nodded at her and picked it up.

 _Right. No point in hiding._

Slowly peeking out of cover, I took aim at a Geth Destroyer that was slowly approaching me, and pulled the trigger. The heavy recoil of the gun ruined my aim and I missed the shot. The second shot, however, made contact, making the Destroyer stop in its tracks for a second. I unloaded the weapon on it, shooting till I could no longer do so. As soon as my rifle overheated, I saw Ashley throw a grenade towards its direction.

The loud explosion made me flinch. As the smoke cleared, I could see bits of our synthetic enemy strewn across the ground. I looked at Ashley, who had her hand to her ear once again. Her eyes, visible through her helmet, were wide open, showing disbelief.

"…..yes, Commander. I… Okay." She paused for a second. "Joker, get the Normandy back to the bomb site. We'll clean up the landing area for you."

 _Wait, what?! So did they rescue Kaidan already? Can't be… they just left…_

My thoughts were interrupted by more gunfire. After many terrifying moments of dodging and shooting, I heard the large door to our left open…

It was a dramatic entrance. Wrex and Jane immediately charged into the troopers, brutally destroying multiple enemies at point blank range. Garrus, on the other hand, walked backwards to the slightly raised platform, took aim with his sniper rifle and started firing away. Kaidan…. was missing.

Trying not to think of the worst, I turned around to look at the bomb. _6 minutes._ We needed to get out of there, fast. I looked up at the sky, for a sign of the Normandy. Unless it swooped down and picked us up within the next few minutes, all of us were going to be vaporised.

A glint of reflected light caught my eye. It was not the Normandy. It was a distinctive looking Turian, on a flying platform, rushing towards our position…

 _No….._

Impulsively, I took aim and shot at the moving target. Almost immediately, I realised the stupidity of what I just did.

A flurry of biotic attacks were launched towards me by the rogue Spectre, as I tried to get back into cover. Jane and the squad were still busy dealing with the Geth.

"Commander!" I shouted, trying to dodge an alarming amount of blue pulses. "JANE!"

Just as I saw her look back at me, I felt a searing pain throughout my body. I was engulfed in a blue field and lifted into the air. Before I could understand what was happening, I felt myself being violently thrown into the ground. The back of my unprotected head hit the concrete with a loud thud, and I felt my vision turning black….

 _Silence._

 _A faint, muffled voice._

 _"…"_

 _I can't… hear. And it hurts.._

 _"…"_

 _What?_

 **" _DOUGLAS!"_**

The voice finally made sense. I opened my eyes, and I could see Ashley staring down at me. The gunfire had stopped. As she helped me up, I turned around to look at the bomb. _2 minutes._

"We need to get out of here. Come on!"

She supported me by the shoulders and practically dragged me towards the Normandy. Jane and the others were standing inside the ship, beckoning us to hurry up.

 _What happened to Saren? And where on earth is Kaidan?_

As we entered the ship, it instantly started lifting up, and in a few seconds we were well on our way out of the planet. Jane rushed towards the small window near the armory and looked out of it. A huge rumble and the muffled sound of an explosion were enough to let us know that the bomb had gone off. Jane kept looking out the window, lost in thought.

I looked around at the rest of the squad. Garrus and Wrex seemed uncomfortable. Liara, like me, was staring at Jane, looking worried. Ashley was leaning against the wall, trying to compose herself.

Every second I was standing, I felt my knees get weaker. A trip to the med bay was necessary. But first, I needed to know...

"What happened to Kai-?"

"He's dead." Ashley replied, in a shaky voice. "No one turned up to save him." She shot an angry glance at the Commander as she spoke.

Jane turned away from the window, staring at Ashley. "I had to make a choice, Ash."

"Don't 'Ash' me, Commander!" Ashley clenched her fists as she walked towards Jane. "He was the superior officer! I'm just a grunt with a gun. The bomb would have gone off anyways, it was already activated. There was only one reason why you came back to us, and everybody here knows it."

Jane's eyes narrowed as she took a step towards Ashley. "What the _hell_ do you mean by that, Chief?"

Ashley took another step forward, aggressively. "You know exactly what I mean…. Commander."

I stood there, terrified, watching the two women staring each other down. I started to feel dizzy _. I should probably sit down somewhere._

"Chief Williams," Liara spoke up, hesitatingly, "the Commander just saved our lives. I know you're angry about Lt. Alenko, but she is not..."

"That's the thing, T'Soni." Ashley was fuming, and very obviously trying to fight back tears. "She didn't save _us_. She saved her boytoy. We just happened to be nearby. Lucky us."

I flinched. ' _Boytoy'?! This isn't going to end well…_

"Listen…" Jane started, but then paused for a second and sighed. "Okay, let's head to the briefing room. Nobody utters a word till we reach there."

The squad quietly followed Jane as she walked away. I kept standing, breathing heavily and trying not to fall down. I wanted to call out for help, but I couldn't muster up the energy.

"You too, Harry," Jane muttered, not looking back.

The sound of my body hitting the ground was enough to draw everyone's attention.

* * *

"So, a concussion?"

"Yeah, among other things. Dr. Michel says I need rest, at least for a week. And 'rest' includes not being on the Normandy... Well, not that it matters. The Normandy isn't going anywhere, right?"

Jane smiled weakly, not saying anything.

Both of us were standing outside the Citadel's med clinic, staring at the view. It was the same place where I had shared a moment with Jane, on my 21st birthday. A little more than a week later, we were standing in the exact same spot, holding hands and looking outside, having a quiet moment to ourselves.

Jane seemed surprisingly calm, considering the fact that the Council had just taken away her ship from her, grounding the entire crew. She was staring out into the massive depths of the wards.

"I remember when I stood here for the first time," Jane spoke, in a wistful tone. "We had just returned from Eden Prime. Ash was standing right behind me, and Kaidan… well, he was right there, where you are." She turned to look at me, smiling. "I think… he was trying to flirt with me. I couldn't tell."

I chuckled. "He _did_ have a bit of a crush on you. Honestly, I can't blame him."

Her smile turned into a grin. "You really like me, don't you?"

I put my arm around her waist, pulling her closer. "I really do."

She sighed and put her head on my shoulder. My thoughts went back to Virmire. _So many things went wrong._

"There wasn't a 'right' choice, Harry," Jane spoke up, as if she read my thoughts. "If there was, I would have made it. I could have saved Kaidan and those Salarians, but that would have meant losing the three of you." She sighed. "Also, that would have meant potentially jeopardising our mission. The Geth, or Saren, could have disabled the bomb, or taken it away."

I nodded my head. "You told this to Ashley, right?"

"Yeah. She's okay. She was just in shock, after everything that happened. She had already lost her whole unit in Eden Prime, and with Kaidan, she just… Her whole outburst was just her trying to... unload everything."

"She said some really unpleasant things about you."

"And she feels horrible about it. She was convinced that I would be kicking her out of the ship." Jane paused for a moment. "Anyways, she's okay now. We had a nice, long talk in my quarters, on the way back here."

"Do you always forgive this easily?"

She lifted her head from my shoulder and stared into my eyes. "I... understand what she's going through. Seeing the people you care about die in front of you is something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Unfortunately, it's something we have to get used to, as soldiers."

I instinctively grabbed her tighter. "What about you? How are you handling all of this?"

She looked down at her feet. "I don't know. I thought I had learned to deal with death, once I finally got over Mindior. Looks like I was wrong."

"How did you get over Mindior?" I immediately felt guilty about asking her that. "I'm sorry… you may not want to talk about it…"

"Harry, it's fine, I'm the one who brought it up." She stared into the distance. "It took me years. I cried myself to sleep for most nights. But one day, I just ran out of tears. I know that's not… biologically possible or anything, but… you know what I mean."

The thought of Jane 'crying' was an incredibly alien concept to me. She was always so... stoic.

After a moment of silence, she continued. "I decided to move forward. Make their deaths matter. Make my survival matter. I tried to be a good soldier. A good person. Anyways, the older I got, the more death I saw. The more death I saw, the easier it got to deal with."

"But now it's getting worse, again. This is what your nightmares were about, right?"

She nodded, looking back at me. "Maybe, I'm getting softer. Or maybe, I've never gotten over what happened 13 years ago…."

I pulled her into an embrace. Her armor pressed against my body, as we stood still for a full minute.

I finally broke off the hug, and looked into her eyes. "Hey. I promised you something, remember? Let's go out and have a nice evening... just the two of us."

She smiled for a moment, but suddenly had a worried look on her face. "I would love to, Harry, but you are not allowed to leave the clinic.. and I need to go back and talk to Anderson first."

"Again?" I was confused. _Didn't she just come back from meeting him at Flux?_

"Yeah… I need to go run some errands for him. It won't take long."

"Well, okay." We let go of each other, and she started walking away. "Just let me know when you're done, Jane."

I slowly walked back into the clinic, nodded at Dr. Michel, and laid down on the bed.

 _One week. Well, at least Jane will be here with me._

Wondering why Jeff and Tali hadn't dropped by to visit yet, I slowly began to nod off…

* * *

"…absolutely unacceptable! You should have stopped him in time!"

The sound of shouting woke me up. I turned to look at the door and saw Ambassador Udina talking to a turian C-Sec officer, looking absolutely furious.

"Calm down, Ambassador," the officer replied. "Captain Anderson has been detained. Mr. Douglas here is the only member of the crew left behind. I'll arrest him right now."

"What good will that do, Avilius?!" an exasperated Udina exclaimed. "He's just a rookie engineer. Probably left behind because he is not even essential to her mission. And he's from the Douglas family! Hackett will murder me…"

"He got left behind because he's injured," the turian replied, coldly. "And I don't care about human politics. Commander Shepard and her crew just committed mutiny. They disobeyed the direct orders of the Council. Action needs to be taken."

 _What the hell happened while I was asleep?_

Both of them simultaneously noticed me waking up, and rushed towards my bed.

"Mr. Douglas..."

Despite being terrified of the Ambassador's intensity, I tried my best to sound 'formal'. "Good evening, sir. What's wrong?"

"You bloody well know what's wrong! The Normandy just flew off the Citadel, despite being under lockdown. Your Commander is going to pay for this, and so are you."

I looked at him, dumbfounded. _What the…? Why didn't she tell me?_

Avilius, the C-sec officer, kept staring at me. "Mr Douglas, were you aware of this act of mutiny, at any particular stage? Did you attempt to inform the authorities after finding out?"

I quickly shook my head. "I had no clue, officer. Jane didn't inform…"

"Jane?" The ambassador's eyes narrowed.

I silently cursed myself. "I meant… Commander Shepard… she didn't inform me about this."

"So she met you before she left?"

I gulped. _Shouldn't have mentioned her._

"Let me remind you, Mr. Douglas, that there are security cameras with mics, all over the Presidium and the Upper Wards," Avilius noted, coldly.

I nodded my head. "We talked, just outside the clinic. But she never told me about this."

Avilius seemed to be lost in thought for a few seconds. Then, he held out his hand. "Your omnitool. I'm confiscating it, till the investigation's over. I'll check the security tapes back at C-Sec HQ, to ensure that you're telling the truth."

I hesitatingly handed it over. Both Avilius and Udina walked out of the room, still talking among themselves.

"Harry," Dr. Michel, who was observing the entire exchange in silence, spoke up. "Did she really not tell you?"

"No, doctor. She didn't…"

..and I realised why. Having knowledge of a mutiny and not acting on it was as serious a crime as the act of mutiny itself. She knew she had to leave me behind, and she didn't want me to get into trouble. I just hoped it was worth it, because she won't be able to come back here till she stopped Saren, and proved that she was right.

 _Will we ever get to have that dinner…?_

I lay on the bed yet again, not knowing what to do. Here I was, stuck on a hospital bed in the Citadel, while the Normandy was out saving the galaxy…


	10. Chapter 10

"One more thing, Mr. Douglas,"

The interior of the Citadel Towers looked more and more intimidating, as we walked up the stairs.

I sighed. "I'm a little light-headed, Officer, I'd prefer going back to bed."

Dr. Michel shot an annoyed glance at the turian C-Sec Officer. "Avilius, can I take my patient back now?" she asked, her accent sounding heavier. "He's recovering from a severe concussion! Why did we need to come all the way up here, to the Towers? This could have been done in the med bay…."

"No, it couldn't, Doctor. The council wants to speak with him."

"The Council?!" I exclaimed, loud enough for the people around us to notice. "But... why?"

Avilius shrugged his shoulders. "No idea. But Ambassador Udina just told the Council about your relationship with the Commander. Maybe this has something to do with that."

My face went white. "Um, how did the ambassador…."

"We went through the tapes of your interactions with the Commander on the Upper Wards," he stated, sounding as professional as humanly possible.

"Oh."

We walked in silence for a few seconds. Avilius stopped himself and the Dr. Michel from going any further as we reached the top of the stairs. "You're not allowed to go up, Doctor. I'm sure he'll be fine by himself for a few minutes." He eyed her suspiciously. "Couldn't you just send a nurse? What's with the personal attention?"

"The commander saved my life a few weeks ago. I think I owe her this much."

I smiled and nodded at the doctor as we left her and went further up, towards the Council's Chambers…

…which was empty.

Avilius' expression, like most turians, was impossible for me to read. But his body language clearly indicated that he was not expecting this.

"They were just here. Where did they g-"

The loud sound of a klaxon interrupted him, and the lights around us turned red. Avilius was talking into his earpiece, but I could barely hear his voice.

"…..silent evacuation? But what about…. He's coming up right now?!"

"Officer, what's wrong?!" I shouted.

Avilius sighed. "We're in deep shit, Douglas."

* * *

The Geth troopers accompanying Saren had started firing the second they arrived on our floor. It took them five minutes to knock down Avilius. And five more minutes to kill everybody else in the floor. I had half-dragged Dr. Michel to a quiet, dark corner, and both of us were lying down on the ground, playing dead. I had seen enough gunfire and death in the last few weeks to last me a lifetime. I was getting tired of this.

The doctor was shaking, and her sobbing was getting dangerously loud.

"Dr. Michel!" I whispered. She didn't listen. "Chloe!"

She broke out of her shocked state and looked at me.

"Chloe, we need to be quiet, okay?"

She nodded silently, her eyes still filling up with tears and her body still shaking.

I took a deep breath and began to consider my options. _The scanners on their guns might have already detected us. Staying here would be too risky. On the other hand, not staying here would be riskier... or would it?_

I slowly lifted my head to look around. The geth were looking away, towards the elevator, and Saren was busy typing something on a newly-appeared console. _Wait a second… Saren! If he's here, then Jane wouldn't be too far. Unless…_

I shook off the negative thoughts and crawled up to Avilius' body, which was lying out in the open. Despite not knowing how to check a turian's pulse, I could tell that he wasn't going to wake back up. _Another good man… gone_.

Picking up his pistol, which seemed exceptionally advanced compared to the standard Alliance pea-shooters, I rushed back towards Chloe and lay down on the ground beside her. She looked towards me, fear etched in her eyes.

"What do we do?"

"We wait for Jane. I'm sure she'll…"

Suddenly, I was engulfed in a blue field and lifted up into the air. Chloe screamed loudly, which caused the Geth troopers to turn and face us.

Surprisingly, Saren hadn't thrown me down, or killed me yet. I was still dangling in the air, helpless and terrified. The odd-looking turian slowly made his way towards me, like the villain in a _Blasto_ vid about to deliver a pointless monologue. I noticed a huge scar across his face, that wasn't there back on Virmire.

"I would have killed you…" he said, speaking slower than he was walking. "…that day. But Shepard didn't let me. I've never seen a human react like that." He ran his left hand through the scar on his face. "I didn't know your species were capable of such… anger. Harming you…"

He brought me down to eye level and grabbed my neck.

"…was harming her. So you're definitely not just an engineer on her ship, are you?"

His grip on my neck tightened.

"What…. what are you waiting for?" I asked, in between choking sounds.

"The same thing you're waiting for," Saren replied, pointing towards the elevators. "I know she's coming, and I don't want to start the show without her. Because of you…", his grip tightened further and I could barely breathe, "…I didn't get the chance to convince her, last time."

I looked at him incredulously. _'Convince her'? Is he seriously expecting Jane to join his cause?_

"Yeah, keep dreaming," I said, but none of the words came out of my mouth properly.

Before Saren could react, the sound of the elevator doors opening made everybody in the room take notice. Liara had lifted two of the troopers, and Wrex was blowing them up. Despite being in mortal peril, I couldn't stop myself from smiling as I saw a flash of red hair amongst the chaos.

I looked back at Saren, who was still holding me by the neck, but was briefly distracted by the rapidly advancing squad. I slowly raised my borrowed gun and aimed it at the side of his head. This was the chance of a lifetime, to take out the most dangerous man in the galaxy while he was distracted. But…

 _Am I ready to take a life?_

I looked outside the large windows, where a full scale battle was going on. This man had killed a lot of people, and was hell bent on killing many, many more.

 _It doesn't matter if I'm ready or not._

Pulling the trigger was easy, but looking at the mess it created was hard. The pistol fired explosive rounds, apparently. Saren (or what was left of him) released me from his clutches, and both of us fell to the ground. My head hurt. It felt like being stabbed by a thousand needles.

I looked around to see Jane running towards me, but my vision started to go blurry.

 _Not again! Please, no…_

* * *

I woke up to a medicinal smell that I had almost gotten used to.

"So… passing out _every single time_ you've been in combat. Must feel quite emasculating, huh?"

Jeff was staring back at me, with his typical grin.

"Yeah, nice to see you too." I muttered, rubbing my forehead. "I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking."

Jeff let out a chuckle and patted my shoulder. Then he turned around. "He's awake."

Behind him, I saw Dr. Michel walking towards me. I turned around to look at the bed next to me.

 _Wait... Is that…?_

Jane looked unrecognisable. Her hands were covered in bruises, and her hair was unusually messy, covering half her face. A small scar ran through her left cheek.

She noticed me staring at her and smiled weakly. "Saren came back to life. Then some wreckage fell on me. Long story."

"Are you…?"

"She's fine, Harry." Dr. Michel interrupted. "Lots of bruising on the outside, but internally she's perfect."

"Of course she is," I heard myself say.

 _What the hell did I mean by that?_

Dr. Michel gave an awkward laugh, and Jane blushed.

"I… I mean... that's nice... that she's okay…" I quickly tried to change the subject, "…and what about me, Doctor?"

"You can call me Chloe," she replied, smiling warmly. "We just went through hell together, I'm sure we can at least be on first name basis, right?"

I returned her smile and nodded.

"You're fine, really," she continued, with a grin. "Though your brain _really_ needs a break. Any more concussions and you'll just be a pretty face without a functioning brain. For now, you need to lie down and rest." She awkwardly tapped my right leg. "I have to go to the towers now, a lot of injured people out there. Just let me know if there's any problem, okay?"

"Sure," I said, smiling warmly. "Thanks Chloe, for keeping me alive."

"You're the one who kept _me_ alive. This is the least I can do, Harry." She winked at me and left the room.

I hesitated for a moment, and then looked at Jeff. "Is she just being really nice, or…"

Jeff chuckled. "…yeah. She has a thing for people who save her life. Shepard knows all about it."

"True," Jane replied, smiling weakly. "Looks like she's over Garrus now."

"So Harry, now you have two women to choose from. I'd personally go with Shepard, but then again that accent…"

"Joker, shut up and get out of here!" Jane exclaimed, trying but failing to hide the smile on her face.

"Was just going to," Jeff replied with a playful grin. He got up and headed for the door. "And yeah, Harry. Wrex asked me to tell you… 'You've got some real quads, doing what you did.'"

"….I've got four testicles?"

"I'm pretty sure it was a metaphor. Anyways, see you out there."

The door closed behind Jeff, and almost immediately, Jane had gotten up from her bed and was moving towards me, slightly wincing with every step. My eyes widened in surprise.

"Um.. shouldn't you rest..?"

As I stared at her, mouth wide open, she got into my bed, and laid down over me. Wordlessly she reached in for a kiss and I obliged. Our lips embraced and our hands ran all over each other as we experienced an incredibly intimate moment in an empty med clinic.

I broke off the kiss after what seemed like an eternity, and raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you want dinner first?"

Jane had a look of longing on her face. She looked incredibly tired, but that didn't stop her from smiling. "Dinner can wait. This can't."

I shrugged and nodded my head in an exaggerated manner, which made her giggle. Seeing her smiling face made me want to kiss her even more, and I did…

Jane was right. There was a _lot_ to talk about, but this was not the time for that.

* * *

 **A/N – Sorry for the delay writing this chapter. I moved to a new town, and it takes time to settle down. :)**

 **My output will be slightly slower from here on. I will be putting up a new chapter every week.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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